"Have I bitten off more than I can chew here?"
Even James O'Connor thought his fairytale comeback may have been too much. Now, the Crusaders' playmaker is savouring one of the finest bounce-back performances in the gold jersey.
The 35-year-old delivered a masterclass in the final 60 minutes to engineer Australia's 38-22 win over the Springboks at Ellis Park.
It was a script fit for TV as O'Connor brushed off early mistakes as he pieced apart the defending world champions, just over a month after the former Red and Rebel was handed a surprise return to the Test set-up, rushed into camp for the Lions tour.
O'Connor was honest about his own self-doubt as he was quickly brought up to speed under the new Joe Schmidt, said.
“I feel like I've had three or four different lifetimes in rugby. So from each almost generation I feel like I've got a favourite game but that one was special because even I doubted myself," he said on the win.
“I came into camp and I was like, 'Wow, have I bitten off more than I can chew here?' The boys are training at an intensity and a speed that I'm not up to yet. I've just slowly gone about my work, slowly built.
"I've spent every game on the bench this year, finishing games off and that's sort of the role I've almost created so when Joe gave me the nod, I'm not going to lie, I was bloody excited and I'm always up for it. I wanted it bad but at the same time, there's that little voice in the back of your head that's like ‘Do you reckon you can take the Springboks on, you reckon you can live up to the words you've spoken out there?"
O'Connor admittedly struggled early on, with a dropped ball leading to early Springboks points.
But his 12 years of experience came to the forefront as he broke down South Africa's rush defence to set Max Jorgensen and Tom Wright free to help the team railly from a 22-0 deficit.
"This one was so special because the first 15 minutes...I didn't build it perfectly, but as a competitor, I'll play and take it on if I see a picture. I feel proud and humbled and grateful because eventually we all synced up, we got on the same page and things just started working," O'Connor explained.
“It wasn't beautiful rugby at times and it wasn't the perfect game. There was a lot of to and fro, back and forth, but we just stayed in the fight, and we stayed hungry, and we stayed working for each other, and eventually it paid off.
“I'm a very grateful man right now but at the same time, I know what's coming next week.”
Suddenly, O'Connor has vaulted himself straight into the conversation for the World Cup, offering much needed experience in the playmaker role.
The flyhalf naturally shrugged off the suggestion around it but conceded it could be the motivation needed to keep growing his game as he prepares for a stint in England with Leicester.
“I feel it's good to have seniors around the group that have been in and been amongst it. At the same time, again, you always have the devil and the angel," he explained.
“Part of me, I feel like it's week to week and the other part of me would love to be a part of it and it's like, why not? I need a goal. If I don't have something to sink my teeth into, then I won't keep playing. so if I have a goal, then I can keep working and I can keep striving and getting up and trying to improve myself and grow my game, whereas if the finish line's right there, it'll come pretty quickly.
“I'm not really in a place to talk about that right now. I've played one game, and even then it was scratchy, so let's wait after a couple more."
